The Poster

BBC Announcer: Louis Clist

The evil Baron Scarheart (Jo Smith) enters, eating an apple! …

… to find Dick Barton (Rod Sharp) suspended in chains.

We are introduced to the Viper's Club by the MC (John McGregor)

The main attraction – Marta Heartburn (aka Pru Harrold)

'Then in comes I, old father Christmas!' Dick Barton in disguise.

Dick Barton and the Press hacks (L to R: Peter Glinn, Paul Kosinski, Martin Wellen).

Jock Anderson (Luke Oates) and Dick Barton

Baron Scarheart and his cronies (L to R: Peter Glinn, Martin Wellen, Paul Kosinski) doing time on Dartmoor. We are about to get a classic rendition of Nessun Dorma!

Dick Barton has Marta Heartburn in his sights.

Confusingly, at this point Dick Barton becomes Snowy White! Jock consoles him.

Jock starts to fall for Daphne Fritters (Caroline Kosinski)

Back in the Viper's Club, the girls are in business! (Wendy Downs, Izzy Glinn) …

… (Karina Farnlucher) …

… (Mel White, Emily Downs, Kay McGregor).

Meanwhile, down at Lady Laxington's (Jo Levy), the pianist is having a break!

Along with Snowy White (Rod Sharp), they are both getting high on Slunk.

Daphne doesn't get it!

Meanwhile the baron's baddies (Peter Glinn, John McGregor) are robbing the rich of their baubles.

Marta has flown to Berlin – the Baron calls in by radio …

… through unconventional headphones …

… and while Marta is otherwise distracted (Paul Kosinski is the toe-sucker!)

Back in London, Colonel Gardner (John Preskett) shows worrying statistics to Jock.

Jock finds he has only an Eagle to defend himself with.

Col Gardner is aghast at Marta's prowess.

Agents Roger and Wilco call in and warn against further sexual innuendo.

Has Marta found her Dick? Oops!

Is this an impromptu tooth inspection? Didn't know Dick was a dentist!

Baron Scarheart has Sir Stanley Fritters (John McGregor) where he wants him – sitting over a cellar full of Namibian blood-sucking killer ants (apparently).

But Dick Barton (who else) comes to the rescue by organising a tap dance to scare the little blighters away.

And Baron Scarheart meets his end (more or less) pinioned to the minute hand of Big Ben!

But they forgot about Marta with her WH Smith & Wesson revolver (with fur trimming). How would our heros escape?

You'll have to find out by listening to the next episode, of course! The cast take their bow.