Humpty Dumpty cover

Humpty Dumpty
. . . the Muffet Mob's on the loose - can old egghead save the day?

To order scripts ISBN 1-873855-18-4Cast ListScenesExtractNotes – Production photos 1995 & 2018


A pantomime written in a traditional style, but at the same time refreshingly different, Humpty Dumpty treats your cast to some well made characters and dialogue, and conspires to involve your audience to the maximum.

Humpty Dumpty presides over Nursery Rhyme land, and so you'll meet a number of well-known characters—but will they live up to their usual reputations?

There are many opportunities for song and dance, including 20 suggested titles, and plenty of scope for including an undefined number of senior and junior chorus members in the show.

Principals: Male 3, Female 6, Indeterminate 14

© John Owen Smith 1992

Cast List . . .

Humpty Dumpty
Tom, the piper's son (a go-between)
Old King Cole
Queen of Hearts
Duke of York
Captain of the Guard
Puss, the Palace cat (non-speaking)
Widow Welly, who lives in a shoe
Jack, her eldest son (principal boy)
Jill, her eldest daughter
Monday's child, etc - 7 other of her children

The Bad Set:

Miss Muffet
Willie Winkie
Georgie Porgie
The Wolf

The Good Set:

Bo Peep
Boy Blue
Mary (principal girl)
Lamb (non-speaking)
The spider (non-speaking - or can use a model suspended on string)
Three pigs (non-speaking)
Chorus of King's horses & King's men, animals, children - senior and junior chorus

List of Scenes . . .

Act I

The Prologue - Humpty Dumpty (Front of Tabs)
Scene 1 - Outside Widow Welly's house (Full Set)
Scene 2a - On Parade with the King's Men (Front of Tabs)
Scene 2b - In Miss Muffet's Parlour (Half Set)
Scene 3 - The Farm in Nursery Rhyme Land (Full Set)
Scene 4a - In the Royal Palace (Half Set)
Scene 4b - On the way to the Wall (Front of Tabs)
Scene 5 - At the Wall (Full Set)

**** INTERVAL ****

Act II

Scene 1 - The Farm in Nursery Rhyme Land (Full Set)
Scene 2a - By Miss Muffet's parlour (Front of Tabs)
Scene 2b - In the Royal Palace (Half Set)
Scene 3 - At the Wall (Full Set)
Scene 4 - Repairing Humpty (Front of Tabs)
Scene 5 - At the Wall (Full Set)

Extract from Act I Scene 2b

Miss Muffet Now come close and I'll explain what's to be done. First, we need to get our hands on the Deeds to the farm. I happen to know they're kept in a safe in the magic wall where Humpty Dumpty looks after them.
Willie W What, old egg-head?
Georgie P He's not much of a security guard - one crack on the head and he's a gonner.
Miss Muffet It's not going to be quite as easy as you think - Humpty Dumpty's got magic powers. We'll need to use stealth and cunning against him.
Willie W Oh, well that leaves us out then.
Georgie P Yes, we can leave it to this other lot.
Miss Muffet Which other lot?
Georgie P This Stealth and Cunning.
Miss Muffet Idiots! Fortunately I don't have to rely on you alone. I have other plans.
At this, the Wolf enters behind them and joins in the huddle. They don't notice him at first.
Miss Muffet While we go looking for the deeds, someone else will be using other means to persuade the residents of the farm to move out.
Suddenly Georgie and Willie notice the Wolf.
Willie W It's the Wolf!
Georgie P What's he doing here?
Willie and Georgie try to hide behind Miss Muffet.
Miss Muffet Relax you two - he's on our side.
Willie W He is?
Georgie P That's what Red Riding Hood's granny thought!
Wolf Objection! That was in a different pantomime.
Miss Muffet He's here to help us get our hands on the farm.
Willie W He's after the three little pigs!
Georgie P And Bo Peep's sheep.
Wolf (To Miss Muffet) Do I have to stay here and take all this? You told me we could forget the form book.
Miss Muffet Shut it boys. We help the Wolf and the Wolf helps us, OK?
Willie W I don't like it.
Georgie P Don't leave us alone with him.
Miss Muffet Really - big boys like you scared of a nice Wolf! You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Do I look afraid of him?
Willie W No, M.
Miss Muffet Am I cringing every time he moves towards me?
Georgie P No, M.
Miss Muffet It takes more than a little Wolf to scare me, doesn't it.
The Spider appears at this moment.
Willie W Yes, M. By the way, there's a spider behind you.
Miss Muffet Oh no - don't try that one on me. You know I don't like spiders.
Georgie P No, honestly M, it's right behind you.
Miss Muffet Oh no it isn't!
G and W Oh yes it is! (etc)
Miss Muffet sees it and exits downstage left screaming. Georgie, Willie and Wolf move forward to watch, and curtains close behind them.
Georgie P That'll teach her.
Willie W (Calling after her) It's only a spider, M.
Georgie P Fancy a big girl like you being afraid of a spider!
Willie W How can an istsy bitsy spider hurt you?
Georgie P And she laughed at us being afraid of the Wolf!
They suddenly realise the Wolf is still there.
G and W The Wolf!!

Producer's Notes

This pantomime uses three different full set scenes, separated by half set or front of curtain scenes to allow for backstage activity. We built the wall as a permanent fixture along the back of the stage, wired up with special effects, and dropped backcloths in front of it for other scenes

Directions given are those used in the original production, but use your imagination according to the facilities available to you. How easily you can get Humpty to move depends on the flexibility and size of his (or her) costume. Our egg consisted mainly of foam rubber with holes cut for eyes and mouth. You may consider amplifying the voice if the actor has difficulty in being heard.
A list of songs used in the original production is included for your guidance, but feel free to adapt or adopt your own as required. We used a couple of folk song & dance numbers to give a rural feel at the start of the two acts.

The concept of the Community Song is where the audience is invited to come up on the stage to help out, and some sort of raucous competition ensues between those brave enough to come up and those left sitting in the auditorium. ("Invited" is perhaps a little inaccurate on occasions, when members of the cast go down in search of friends and other victims!). We used painted polystyrene tiles for our jig-saw puzzle of Humpty, with 'velcro' tabs on the back so that children from the audience could easily fix them to a board on stage. The positioning of this event just before the final scene also gives people not involved plenty of time to change into their finery for the Walkdown.

So good luck with your show. Put in local variations as you wish, and if you think you can improve on the verse then do that too! Have fun - otherwise, why do it?

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