| Snow White and
the 7 Dwarfs
the mirror's off the wall in more ways than one!
A pantomime written in a traditional style, but at the same time refreshingly different, Snow White treats your cast to some well made characters and dialogue, and conspires to involve your audience to the maximum.
The Queen relies on Machiavelli's magic mirror to tell her the truth - but the mirror has a mind of its own.
There are many opportunities for song and dance and plenty of scope for including an undefined number of senior and junior chorus members in the show.
Principals: 18 named characters of whom 4 male, 5 female and the rest can be either!
© John Owen Smith 2004
The King of Paramedichia
The Queen of Paramedichia, his second wife
Snow White, her step-daughter (principal girl)
Machiavelli, the court Magician
Leonardo, the court Physician
Minestrone, the court Cook (dame)
Festa, the Queen's maid
Lisa, Snow White's maid
Subito, the Queen's personal trainer
Fidelio, Prince of Phoojiagfa (principal boy)
Dave, a bossy tiny miner
Dee, a tidy tiny miner
Dozy, a sleepy tiny miner
Beaky, a nosey tiny miner
Mick, a very tiny miner
Titch, a rather larger miner
James, a more refined miner
Maxwell, a Mirror with attitude
Junior chorus of children, animals, etc
Senior chorus of courtiers, woodsmen, etc
(Machiavelli re-enters with the Mirror)
Mirror Ah, madam has need of me again?
Mac (Aside to the Mirror) You remember what I told you, Maxwell - cut the smart talk, eh?
Mirror I know my job, thank you. I am a professional.
Mirror (To the Queen) You wish for another consultation?
Queen What else would I bring you in here for?
Mirror Oh dear, I see we're still a bit fraught. I had hoped that a good night's sleep might
Queen After what you told me yesterday?
Mirror Please yourself. I speak as I find.
Queen Then you had better find something else to say today.
Mirror Listen lady, I can't choose what I see.
Queen I beg your pardon!
Mirror I'd run a mile, some of the things that peer into me.
Queen Remember who you are talking to.
Mirror Oh, not you though - you're a pleasure. Yes, a real pleasure.
Queen That's not what you said yesterday.
Mirror Yesterday was yesterday. Perhaps I'd eaten too much pizza.
Mac You don't eat pizza.
Mirror Well, perhaps I was hungry then. Who knows? Today is today.
Mac (Hissing) Cut the smart talk, remember?
Mirror Okay, okay. Today you'll be pretty as a picture. Are you ready to face the truth?
Queen I am ready.
(The scene is set as a photo booth)
Mirror Adjust the seat to the right height. Make sure your face is in the centre of the mirror. Select the appropriate question. Choose your background. Ready now? Place your money in the slot
Mirror Okay, so this is a free consultation. But remember you get what you pay for in life.
Mirror Sit very still please. Three, two, one - done! (a flash on 'done')
Mirror There will be a short pause while processing takes place.
Queen Oh, really! (To Mac) Is this something you've added?
Mac You were not happy with yesterday's result. We want to be sure this time. That takes a little longer.
Queen It had better come up with the right answer.
Mac I am sure it will - I am quietly confident. (Sound effect) Ah, there, the processing is now complete.
Mirror Are you ready for the answer?
Queen More than ready.
Mirror The answer to the question: "Who is the fairest in the land"?
Queen Yes, yes - get on with it.
Mirror I will give the results in reverse order.
Queen What? I'm not interested in who comes second or third.
Mirror You might be.
Queen (To Mac) Is this some sort of a joke?
Mac I sincerely hope not.
Mirror In third place: Sarah the scullery maid.
Queen That slut! How dare you utter her name in the same breath as mine?
Mirror She's very pretty - and I haven't uttered your name yet.
Mac (To Mirror) Cut the cackle. I didn't add to your circuits last night just to get lip from you.
Queen Just tell me what I want to know.
Mirror In second place Hum - interesting this - it was a very close thing for second place.
Queen Now just a minute
Mirror Very close indeed. In fact
Queen You're not
Mirror within the limits of computational error, I'd say it was a tie for first place
Mirror between yourself and Snow White.
Queen I don't believe it! I won't believe it! (To Mac) You told me yesterday was an error. You said you'd fix it.
Mac Fix it I did.
Queen Then you'd better fix it again - No, I've a better idea - this time we'll fix Snow White instead, not this - this - (she 'handbags' the mirror) pathetic piece of machinery. Come Festa, we have work to do! (Queen and Festa exit)
Mirror (Picking itself up) Did I do something wrong?
Mac You did something wrong, Maxwell - you spoke the truth. (As they exit haltingly arm in arm) Anything broken?
Mirror No - wonderful stuff, this plastic glass. But you might have to check my circuits over again.
Mac Maxwell by boy, by tomorrow we'll have your circuits good as new.
This pantomime uses three different full set scenes, separated by half set or front of curtain scenes to allow for backstage activity.
Directions are suggested, but use your imagination according to the facilities available to you.
A list of suggested songs is included for your guidance, and where special words were written these are also included, but feel free to adapt or adopt your own as required.
The concept of the Community Song is where the audience is invited to come up on the stage to help out, and some sort of raucous competition ensues between those brave enough to come up and those left sitting in the auditorium. ("Invited" is perhaps a little inaccurate on occasions, when members of the cast go down in search of friends and other victims!). The positioning of this event just before the final scene also gives people not involved plenty of time to change into their finery for the Walkdown.
I have introduced the concept of a Prologue and an Interlogue (no, the latter is not in the dictionary) as much as anything to give time for the chorus to react to the fact that the show has started, and actually get on stage! This is known as pragmatism.
So good luck with your show. Put in local variations as you wish, and if you think you can improve on the verse then do that too! Have fun - otherwise, why do it?
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